Last week I woke up (at 4.45am) and went down to the bathroom. I noticed things were weird when there was water all over the seat and floor (not the usual way Chrissy leaves the room). The second clue that things weren't right was the scuttering along the floor behind me. The third clue that things weren't right was the sight of a tail disappearing behind our washing machine in the utility room.
Not good!!
I closed the utility door and with my back squarely against it flicked the light on at which point I saw a rat run into our bathroom. At this point I closed the door and called on Christina, being the responsible husband I am I wanted to stay and deal with the situation but I needed to be on air at 6am so I had to go leaving Chrissy to sort it out.
Chrissy called a local exterminator who could come and visit the house early. They soon came and after a thorough inspection informed Chrissy that the rat had gone back down the toilet from whence it had come. This is not an uncommon occurrence in downstairs bathrooms and we learnt our lesson to keep the lid down.
I was in touch with Chrissy as much as I could be and she soon e-mailed a list of cleaning products to get our bathroom ready for human use again. I finished my shift, went shopping and came home tooled up for an afternoon of bleaching.
Having spent 25 minutes cleaning the bath and surrounding tiles I was taking the job seriously! I finished this section of the room and then moved onto the sink and shelf under it. As I went to get some of the things off the shelf one of the objects fell onto the floor and I heard a hiss. I quickly realised what was going on when from behind my sink came a rat towards my face!! (I'm told the rat was not going for my face but instead I was blocking the light and it was merely making a bid for freedom).
At this point I closed the toilet lid and door. I rang Chrissy to get the number of the exterminator (who was no doubt by now flying to the Bahamas on my cheque from the first visit). I got in touch and explained the situation "You came earlier? Rats still there". After some jovial banter he told me he could get someone to me by 4pm.
I'm now in the house, with a rat unable to use the bathroom.
The man finally arrived and went into the bathroom - QUICK ASIDE My bathroom has three things in it a sink, a bath and a toilet. The rat was behind the sink. When inspecting a bathroom for a rat wouldn't behind the sink be an obvious place to start?...........I thought so too!
Anyway, he went into the bathroom and after a few seconds I heard a high pitched squeak and out he ran into the kitchen (the man NOT the rat!!) He was able to reliably inform me that "You've got a rat in there!!" GENIUS
He went out the van to get some glueboards and came back and threw them into the bathroom. I suggested that having hidden behind the sink for 11 hours we might need to coax it out a little. He reluctantly agreed and began to kick the pedestal this served to totally wind the rat up and it began to squeal and hiss loudly at which our brave hitman ran out again nto the kitchen.
He decided to give the rat a 10 minute break (I'm still not sure what for, was there a designated smoking area in there?) And after a break came back in with a litter picker. The plan was to grab the rat and stick it to the board (good plan).
Off he went back to the room with a hearty encouragement from me (to which he replied "that's easy for you to say from in here"). After a few seconds I realised he'd changed the plan when instead of grabbing the rat he began hitting the pedestal with the litter picker.....more hissing, more squealing and another short break.
He arrived back with another 10 glue boards which were once again strewn on the bathroom floor. After more hissing and squealing he came out to inform me the rat was now behind the radiator (those glue boards are worth every penny).
Another break ensued and he this time re-emerged with a large black bag. Chrissy was now back from work and we looked as confused as each other. He made us promise not to laugh (I was not much for laughing so it was an easy promise to make). And he opened the bag to reveal a shotgun.
Go on read that last bit again.
Yeah - a shotgun.
He assured us it only shot pellets and I assured him those tiles on the wall were.........tiles.
After a few practise shots (you couldn't make this up) he went in. After a few more practise shots he eventually steadied himself enough to take aim and shoot.
He ran out of the bathroom and when asked if he'd got it replied "don't know'
Eventually he was persuaded to go back into the bathroom and discovered he had indeed exterminated the rat. He cleaned up the rat and left. After two hours we had cleaned the bathroom and the next day had a new floor put down.
Here ends the story - 2 lessons;
1. Leave the toilet seat down.
2. When looking for exterminators, don't assume one that begins with 'A' will be the leader in their field.
