CARUS number 3 (but who's counting!?!?!)

So, another carus has been and gone.

It was a good night the people there seemed to appreciate the time......so why were there only 6 of us????

This was the question that was plaguing me before we began.

I had spent hours preparing my talk, hours preparing video and powerpoint......was it all wasted because only 5 people were going to hear and see it??

I guess as someone who spends time at "big events" numbers can become really important.

Success can become measured by the number of people who turn up. But is that really all that matters?? I've always believed that if something is right people will come (my field of dreams philosophy). So why aren't they??

Is God trying to tell us we're getting it wrong??

Have we missed the point??

What's the point??

Why does carus even exist??

Have we done enough??

Have I done enough??

And after a long time of questioning and worrying I have reached my conclusion............I don't know the answer to those questions!!

What I know is this, God spoke to some people, including me, about this thing we call carus and then doors started opening. Those doors are still opening with possibilities of work within a 6th form and links with other local churches all being discussed at the minute.

Since we started working on carus I've lost count of the number of people who have got excited by the idea and maybe that's what I need to do more often - stop counting!!

A legend

Today the world has lost a legend. Whatever your personal feelings on his lifestyle and his later years, no-one can deny what an incredible footballer George Best was.

As a native Northern Irish man I have always been proud of the football skills displayed by George Best in his early days, and always saddened at the way in which his life changed and he seemed to battle so hard with his addiction to alcohol.

What has been most interesting today is the fact that in the midst of all that took place Best himself wanted to be remembered for the football. Most commentators seem to be in agreement that he will be, but then this doesn't seem to add up as in the same sentence they will show footage of him partying, or of ex-wives or his drunken TV appearance on Wogan.

It appears he couldn't choose his legacy. In fact over the last few years it seems that football has been pushed out of the coverage of the life of George Best (quite ironic that those same newspapers who have hounded him for so long are this morning "grief stricken"). No matter what happens George will always be remembered as the incredible talent on the pitch who struggled off of it.

I'm left wondering what my legacy will be. What will people say of me when I die. One of the exercises on my time management course this week was about writing what you'd like certain people to say after your death. This was a tough exercise!! I wrote one from my wife, my parents, my brothers, friends, colleagues and people I mentor. And what I discovered was this. The person I want to be and the person I am aren't the same and like George Best I can't choose this stuff or write the reports for others.

All I can do is live my life and trust God to help me make the right choices and forgive me when I make the wrong ones.

George Best allowed photos of his last few days to be published today, he wanted people to understand how dangerous alcholism can be and try and prevent others making the same mistakes.............now that's a legacy.

Going by so slowly!!

I've been on 3 days of training this week!!

1 day of computer training (step 1: Log on. Step 2:Welcome to the 80's!!)

Followed by 2 days of time management. I have to be honest and say I wasn't really up for this week. Sunday was wicked and the guys from our gospel choir sang really well at the congress on Sunday (I might blog more on this at another time but I'm waiting to let all my thoughts settle). But this week was not something I was really looking forward to.

Anyway, computer training was everything I expected (I will never blog further on this!!) And so I arrived at time management training not really in the right frame of mind.

The 2 days have been really interesting, at times I've been really frustrated by the people who seem to wait for moments to take their little poke at you (and then still just take them randomly anyway!!) I've been annoyed by the way that some people want to argue for long periods of time about the wording of questions or just how right their answer is.

And then we were asked to write down the things that mattered most to us in this world and try to come up with a personal mission statement. I found this really tough. I know what the most important things in my life are and I'm getting to grips with what my mission is, but then we were asked if we treated the most important things in our lives as the most important things in our lives.

I found myself just sitting there, pen in hand, trying to comes to terms with how often I screw this up. I make time for some things at the expense of others. I make lousy decisions based on warped priorities. The personal beating continued for 15 minutes but I won't catalogue the whole thing!!

Here's the bit that really got me!! I'm not called to be just one thing (a DYO, a Husband, a friend, a son) I'm called to all of those things. What matters isn't which one gets the most of my time or the most of my energy but that I become the absolute best that God has in store for me in living those things out.

God wouldn't have called me to be a husband to Christina if His calling to be a DYO didn't allow it. He wouldn't call me to be a friend if I had to spend all my time being a good son. The creator of everything (including time itself) has got my schedule in His hands, if I would just stop trying to fill it in when He's not looking!!

And so after 2 days of this I've come away with some pretty basic truth in my life, but I'm positive it was time well spent!!

What a difference 3 weeks makes......

It seems like ages since I wrote on this last. So here is what’s been going on in the world of Matt (this isn’t in order but it’s not really important!!)

I’ve experienced new drinks and card games!! Not as potentially exciting/job ending as it could be I’m afraid!! Glog (from IKEA) a brilliant winter hot drink and cards of comedy (working title). I also discovered that Christina has very little hand-eye co-ordination which makes the game even more fun for her and everybody else!!

The power of humility – I was asked to meet a lady from my church who was concerned about the way that we’re heading and wanted to get my views on this. I expected a really hard time if I’m honest filled with awkward questions and lots of disagreement. What I found was a Christian lady filled with humility and willingness to listen, 2 hours well spent and cold tea because we were talking so much.

Vegetarian meals!! I am not and will probably never be a vegetarian. I have no actual problem with those who are (not that many would have the strength to reply anyway due to the lack of nutrients!!) I’m kidding !!!! I just have never really enjoy eating meals without meat in them at all!! Now our friends Jon & Laura aren’t vegetarians either but they do often eat vegetarians meals and that’s great for them. However, when Laura spoke to Christina and explained that Jon had learnt to enjoy these meals I knew I was in trouble!! And so since I last wrote I have had 3, YES 3, vegetarian meals. A pasta thing, a vegetable stir fry and on Sunday at Jon & Laura’s vegetables burritos (spelling!?!?!) And as much as it pains me to say this and it really does, I’m starting to get it. I don’t feel undernourished or not satisfied in fact they were all very tasty…..this is not a cue for meat to disappear from my diet but instead a chance to expand my horizons perhaps!!

Reading – I have been able to read for quite a while, something I often take for granted. One of the reasons for not blogging recently is because any spare few minutes has been spent behind a book of some sort. I’ll fil you in on what’s been digested;

The call of the weird by Louis Theroux. Awesome, funny, shocking, bizarre, brilliant. An excellent book of experience with some very interesting people.
Them: Adventures with extremists by Jon Ronson. A book similar to the one above but with more narrative and chapters that flow into each other rather than catalogue different meetings with people. Really interesting!!
Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian faith by Rob Bell. Read it!! Read it now!! Anyone who is intersted in anything to do with Christianity should read this book!!

Friends and family. We’ve have lots of opportunities to meet up with lots of these people over the last few weeks and it’s been excellent!! I guess this is often something I take for granted as well. God is good and He’s put some great people around me. I’m going to try harder to thank more of them for their friendship and so just in case any of you are reading this – Thank You!!

God always wins!! Now let’s be clear I’m not always convinced of our super victorious language in the Christian faith. I’m not sure for a start that we either really understand it or even know what it sounds like to those who don’t yet have a relationship with Christ. What I am convinced of is this. I’ve been stuffing up His vision recently, I wrote a little about this before but I’m now even more sure I’ve got it wrong. We had an awesome carus leadership team meeting in which we got together, talked about God, had a meal and prayed (big thanks to Matt L for guiding us in the right direction). What a night!! I’m looking forward to blogging lots of exciting carus things in the near future!!

And there you have it!! A few weeks in a few paragraphs, lots missing but lots more to come!!